...well, really, it was a far sight cooler than I expected it to be. Although, in 35+ degree weather, a city rammed full of cars and people actually tastes like the arse end of an exhaust pipe. But herewith, my Noo Yoik Diary. Settle in.
Friday, May 25: Joy (my boss) heads off to Brooklyn to stay with her mate, I manage to get to Greenwich Village to hook up with my friend Janelle, whom I'll be staying with for the weekend. Don't get in from l'aeroport until about 11.30pm - but nevermind! This is the city that never sleeps! We head out to "Fat Cat" - a bar-slash-giant rec room filled with pool tables, ping-pong tables, tables for Scrabble and Backgammon, tables for Foosball, tables for shuffleboard, a selection of delectable beers on tap, creaky old furniture...and oh, yes, a live jammin' jazz band. Everyone is boho, man. This is New York. We're back at 3am and I barely sleep because of the honking horns, crazy shouters and curtain of sweat that has blanketed my body.
Saturday, May 26: It's Memorial Day weekend so the whole city has hit the streets. After we chance upon about 4 different street fairs (vendors, food, clothes, metal statues, all sorts of shit), we start looking for the streets that don't have fairs. We cover most of Greenwich Village, some bits of Chelsea, go through Needle Park, to the East side and sorta get into the Lower East side, near Alphabet city. I drag Janelle to Toy Tokyo - a shop for deranged vinyl toy collectors like me. I purchase much, much stuff.
Back for a nap, quickly then walk to Soho for dinner at AMAZING posh Mexican place, Dos Caminos. Genius Janelle has booked us in, so we're seated and make our way through the margaritas! Top! Midnight takes us to a cab to the Lower East side and the Mercury Lounge where catch LA band
The Broken West, followed by AWESOME NYC band
The Comas. We hang out with the drummer from the BWs - poor guy was abandoned by the rest of his band who were avoiding some crazed groupie. He figured she had no interest in the short beardy guy (him). It's also established that both bands are coming to the 'Coove soon, so I give them my number. We head home around 2.30am but...like I said, this is the city that never sleeps. So we go to amazing gastro pub The Spotted Pig. We close the bar at 3.30ish.
Sunday, May 27: Feel a bit ropey, understandably. Make our way through Little Italy, Canal Street and Nolito Designer's market. Need to rest so take a nap. At around 8pm, we head through Chelsea and queue up for the well-known free comedy improv show by "The Upright Citizen's Brigade". It's hosted by Saturday Night Live's Amy Poehler. We run the risk of not getting in and eat a taco in the queue. They cram us all in and the guest comedian is The Office (US)'s John Kraskinski. Hysterical comedic timing and storylines about Segueway violence ensues. After which, we trundle back to the Spotted Pig for a midnight meal among the beautiful people.
Monday, May 28 - Memorial Day. Hook up with Joy at our hotel and spend most of the day doing work. Dinner is at an unmemorable and overpriced Tribeca resto, but isn't that The Daily Show's Jon Stewart and his wife walking hand in hand! Score one for 'sleb spotting in the Big Apple.
Tuesday, May 29 - It's my birthday and I'm a whole year older. Start the day with the first of our actual work meetings - with a tough NYU Journalism prof, who puts Joy and I through our paces. We escape unharmed but learn how to refine our pitch. We then trek to Columbia University and as neither of my contacts are there, we sneak into the basement of the Journalism department (you know, founded by Joseph Pulitzer!) and stuff our 'Suite101 is hiring' one-pagers into ALL 350 Journo students' mailboxes. How very guerilla marketing of us! Then back to change and prepare for dinner at.....NINJA! This is the same "theme" place Dan's been twice to in Tokyo, only in NYC. Janelle and I found it randomly and so booked us (and Joy) in. And the key is, the food's excellent. You descend a dark elevator and crazy Ninja waiters jump out at you and scare the bejeesus from yer. We're led to our own room and are fed delicious food and insane cocktails by several ninjas, who crack wise and bring us our meals.
Which invariably had dry ice, or was set on fire. My birthday cake is tiramisu in the shape of a bonsai tree.
No shit. And a magician comes and does "ancient" card tricks at our table. In the end, the waiter snaps his fingers, they go on fire and he gives us all Ninja throwing star key chains! Awesome! But then it's time to cab it to Hotel Gansvoort's rooftop patio. A very Sex in the City place overlooking the river and the meat-packing district. We have very expensive Cosmos and beat a trail home. I'm deeply satisfied.
Wednesday, May 30 - meeting in Times Square, and in our lunchtime we queue for tickets to see
"Talk Radio", a nearly one-man show with the gorgeous and mind-bogglingly excellent actor Liev Schrieber (he's going out with Naomi Watts). We are astounded to learn that we have got 5th row centre tickets. Huzzah! More work about the town, meeting with other writers' associations etc. Then we have an expensive snack at a resto near our Tribeca hotel, and head off to Broadway, baby! The play is so good I can't describe it (seriously, read the NYTimes review on the link above. Click past the ad, and read the review. It sums up exactly how I felt). Liev is riveting and just so terribly sexy. I joke that we should run round to the back door, to meet him. This is unnecessary as we leave a bit later than everyone else, and run into Mr. Schrieber outside, signing a few autographs. I ask if I can photo him, and get him to sign my Playbill magazine. He's very nice. I tell him it was my bday yesterday, in the hope he will snog me. He doesn't. *Sigh*
Thursday/Friday: Tons of work - seminars at the Book Expo America fair, and we meet Chris Anderson, Wired's Editor and author of the Long Tail and manage to get our presentation to him. We are victorious. Visit the still-eerie and emotional World Trade Centre site and snap a few pics. Have a dull work dinner on the Thursday night, for which Joy and I totally overdressed and then Friday we cane it through the Expo, giving our pitch to publisher bigwigs. I am so exhausted by Friday that it's time to get our crap from the hotel and head back to JFK. The check-in guy notices it'd been my birthday and gives me an invite to the BA First Class lounge! I sit drinking gin and tonics on a chaise lounge, by a bubbling fountain and even have a shower in their Molton Brown spa. Man, I wish I could travel like this everyday!
Finish my emails, bid adieu to NYC (albeit two hours delayed) and return to the un-humid, un-polluted calm of Vancouver, safe in the knowledge that I have (with the exception of MOMA which we ), well and truly done the big Apple!
