Men at 'Werk

Squeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! Duran Duran was in town last night! I am a 13 year-old girl again, not a sad 30+ something with too much disposable income! No!

Turned up early at the venue to collect my tickets and while waiting for Dan wandered over to where the tour buses were parked to check things out. You know, 'cos my GroupieDar (TM) was going off and it was soundcheck o'clock. A whole 7 minutes later, a van pulls in and Nick, Simon, John and Roger pour out, turning around to wave at us and smile. They didn't come over, sadly, but Nick sent their tour manager to us to ask if we were sorted for tickets. Nice chap! How awesome is my timing? Kind of Jean Grey/X-Men pyschic awesome.

The gig was amazing. And so it bloody well should be - we had fourth row centre tickets! Alas, my poor crappy camera was only up to half the task (and batteries died two songs in, though a lovely girl behind me gave me a pair to use for the rest of the show!) and got some pretty blurry shots, but still.

Highlights? Besides being that close to the *cough* "boys" so that I could see Roger Taylor chewing gum, Nick making weird vocoder sounds through "The Reflex", John scrunching his wrinkly face up and the big wheel of cheese that is Mr. Le Bon, I think Dan (so patient and lush for even coming with!) and I would both say the smiley bits were thus:

• The three fans I met earlier in the afternoon outside the venue being the target of an Unknown Gunman attack. Seems that mere seconds after Dan and I left them to their stalk-age, they were pelted with paintballs from an undisclosed grassy knoll. Even the traffic police had to get involved! Could it be the guys from Spandau Ballet firing their jealousy shots? "I know this/much is/truuuuue/SPLAT!"
  
  
• The Kraftwerk-esque "homage" set where they all stood stage-front straddling keyboards and sequencers. They even played 80s minimalist rubbish track "Warm Leatherette" by Grace Jones! Oooee! Dan thought that bit was naff but I liked JT's "Dance Like Your Dad Doing the Robot" moves! ;-) "All She Wants Is" sounded particularly cool, too (see video!).

• The Bra. Not just any bra. Jupiter's mother's bra. A HUGE, ginormous, bigger-than-I-used-to-be frilly white bra with boulder holders larger than the solar system's biggest planet chucked up on stage. Cue Simon promptly trying not to die laughing as he lay it out at the foot of Nick's keyboards. Bless.
  
  
• JT remarking that Van seemed like a pretty nice place to live (he could stay with me, couldn't he?), and Simon quipping "And, have you noticed that there's lots of good-looking people here, too?" "Well, Simon," cooed John, "I hadn't actually thought of that, but you're right..."
  
  

• Simon winking and smiling like a goon at me several times. Even those around me noticed. One girl even turned back to see who he was making eyes at. Let's face it, with the first three rows filled with mingers or boyfriends of mingers, I was looking like a pretty tasty focus point. LOL! John was simply too dazzled by my beauty to do the same, alas.
  

• Simon's "adjustments". Dude honestly must have thought "If I pull my shirt out of my trousers to expose my fuzzy, blubbery midriff, then when I tuck it in, it'll simply look like I'm tucking in my shirt, instead of reaching round and giving my balls a good grab and hoist." That's right Porky, none of us noticed!

Minky is a happy camper. Now where did I put my flourescent tights, slatted gold plastic sunglasses and big shoulder-pads?

Chip Vs. Chimp: Fight!

Right, Mikala has done far too much music reportage on this blog: I am calling the shots now and I say... ah... more music reportage. Only this time I'll do it.

So this week we've been flying along at Gig Factor 9.2 (if you get that obscure Trek reference then pat yourself on the head and make a mental note to get out more). We have done not one... not two... well actually, yes, two... two full school-night, music gigs. Verily, we doth rock.

I'll start with the most recent one: electro-pop meisters Simian Mobile Disco. Now I love SMD: their beats are fresh, dope and phat. Unfortunately their "live" sets are shite. And here's why...

1. They spent half of the gig with their backs to the audience, due to their shit stage layout. This, however, wasn't a problem because...
2. All they were doing was twiddling knobs. Orbital can get away with this because they are possibly the finest techno band ever. Simian Mobile Disco, on the other hand, are mere electro upstarts. This, also however, was not a problem because...
3. Their light rig was sooooooooooooo fucking bright you couldn't face the stage without feeling like you were standing on the surface of The Sun. I shit ye not. Full-on mega strobes mounted directly at eye-level: I had to look away, close my eyes and put my hands over my face to avoid permanent retinal damage. I was lucky to escape with just a sunburn on the back of my neck...

OI, SIMIANS - WE'RE OVER HERE!

So, not a great gig then. Which is a shame because I quite like The Simians and their music is top notch. But really, I might have well stayed at home, cranked up the stereo and poured battery acid into my eyes - it would have delivered much the same experience.

To be fair, SMD did have their work cut out for them, because Monday night's Hot Chip gig was, quite frankly...

THE BEST GIG I HAVE EVER BEEN TO!*

Yes that's right - Hot Chip are awesome. And not just any kind of "awesome" - their awesomeosity demands itallicisation.

Hot Chip took me completely by surprise, too - their album is dismissible: it's fun to listen to, but generally nothing more than cheerful techno-rock nonsense. When they bounded up on stage they looked like the sort of band Ross from Friends might have featured in - not cool at all. However their set is full on. Check it out...

Lights not too bright? Check!
Facing the audience? Check!
Actually playing their instruments? Check!
Crowd going bonkers? Check!
Dude humping a keyboard? Check!
This band has got it all!

Their live stuff sounds nothing like the album - forget eleven, these guys go straight up to twelve. Whilst I may have liked them before, now I LOVE them!

Anyway, that's it from me (for now). Normal gig reporting service will resume next week, as I am sure Mikala will want to wrestle the reigns back from me. Apparently we're going to see some crappy 80's band from Birmingham on Tuesday...

;)

Dan.

*After Alice Cooper, of course.

POSTSCRIPT from Mikala:

Read the first of a series of Hot Chip interviews with Joe Goddard, by yours truly!

In fact, the Vancouver Hot Chip gig was so good, they even mention it on their own website: "We've just returned home after a four week tour of theatres, venues and deserts in the USA and Canada. The tour was very fun, all the way from New York to Coachella, with some wild and crazy dancing along the way (a special mention goes to Vancouver on that front)." See? It wasn't just us! :-)))

Running Man

Apparently Mikala says I have to apologise for my lack of bloggery.

So "sorry" - I will scribe some retro-blogs so you can get up to speed on the story so far (Battlestar Galactica stylee). And speaking of "speed"...

I just did a 10K run!


And not just any run: the biggest 10K run IN THE WORLD!

Every year Vancouver is host to The Sun Run - a ten kilometer race across downtown Van's parks, bridges and streets. About 60,000 people (i.e: the biggest run IN THE WORLD - did I say that already?) did the Sun Run this year, starting right in the centre of town and winding their way through the city, culminating at BC Place - Vancouver's large sports stadium.

Check out the route here.

My aim was to run it in less than fifty minutes - a pretty lofty goal.

"But, Dan - how did you hope to accomplish such a task?" I hear you ask.

Well, I trained with my Nike+ system by running 6K to and from work every other day (my legs are now like columns of wrought steel). I ate carbs the night before (Mikala made ravioli). And I put loads of banging techno on my iPod.

Exceptionally banging techno.

No no - banginger than that.

Yeah that's right: ultra-banging. Good. Moving on...


The mood at the start was ebullient as all the keeners in the 'Couve gathered at half eight on a chilly, but sunny, Sunday morn. Actually, we had a spot of luck with the weather as it was snowing the day before (crazy West Coast weather...)

After a brief mosh through the crowded starting gate, the race was on!

The first section was deceptively easy - a nice downhill stretch. But as soon as you hit the first corner it's uphill and you suddenly realise that you are running way too fast. Because I qualified to start in the "Super Fast" section of the race grid (yes, I was suprised too) people were passing me for most of the race. This was a little depressing... However, little did they know that I was holding back some energy (and the bangingest tracks on my playlist) for the final 2K.

Speaking of which, my playlist was specially co-ordinated with the race route so I had chilled tracks for the uphill sections, faster tracks for the downhill bits and "Power Choons" for around the 6K mark, which is where I guessed (correctly) that I would start losing the will to live. I also had an emergency "Dan you are not going to do this in under fifty minutes - hurry the fuck up!" track at the 45 minute mark, just in case. Fortunately, due to aforementioned energy-holding-back, "You Got The Touch" by Stan Bush was not needed. In fact, on the home straight I was "Señor Overtakio", whizzing down the hill pasting all the fat fucks that had the cheek to wobble past me earlier.

I burnt passed the finish line and checked my time - 46' 58": su-weet!


Mikala, who was watching from the finish line, reckons that I was in the top 1000, maybe even 500. Not bad. Not bad at all...

Having rendezvoused with my other half, we went up to the stadium to get energy drinks and bananas. I also had to wait for my other valiant team-mates from EA (yeah, I was the fastest).

The stadium was pretty heaving by the time most of them rocked up and then it was on to my next test of physical superiority: the biggest God-damned breakfast the Templeton had to offer - VICTORYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!

:)

Dan.

Da Jungle (in Mexico) is Massif!

Just back from Mehico - complete with lizard-like sunburn, peeling and a sense of accomplishment. Had a great tour with an amazing Eco-tour company in Playa called Alltournative. The day-trip Jungle Crossing took us in a Mercedes Benz Unimog (basically an old Army-type truck with serious heft) that took us down a rock-laden, very bumpy jungle path to a fully enclosed eerie cave called Nohoch Na Chich, where Dan was eager...
...while Mikala was a bit more tentative...
...that is, until she was be-flippered and tooled up in her super-posh, pro snorkel gear (which Dan had given her for her bday three years ago). Dan says he couldn't keep up! So we snorkelled in the crystal-clear, cool, dark caves for a bit, among the bats a few feet above us (batty Mikala was well excited by her unexpected flying friends), aided only by our guide's flashlight and the photographer/diver's camera flash. We were pretty chuffed to see amazing stalactites and stalacmites...
Look at our happy little faces! :-) Then, it was on to another cenote on a ranch, where we crawled down a long ladder in a tiny hole to another cenote, and jumped in!
Note the look of glee as we crawl to our deaths* for more snorkellage in a pool so clear you could eat off it. Eating off it is exactly what some of the crazy, gnarled tree roots had done, and the root system flowed down through the earth and cracks in the cave, stopping an inch or so above the water. Plenty of space underneath to conk unsuspecting Dan as he snorkelled by.

That awesomeosity was followed by some chilling at a Mayan ranch, with a meal cooked by the local family - achiote chicken, rice, tortillas, veg soup, hot sauce that blew Dan's mouth off, and tamarind or hibiscus-tinted water.

Then we drove towards Akumal, and rocked up at a brilliantly gorgeous beach, where we hopped into our kayak...
...and paddled out to a gorgeous reef, to do some more gorgeous fishy-spotting. Will publish the photos if any turn out from our water-proof disposable. Gosh! Aren't we happy in all these photos! Hurray! Arriba! Andale!

In all, an utterly muy bonito day and more to come...

*Okay, not really. But there's something kinda thrilling about flinging yourself into a hole and some crazy caves.